Mean Mugg...

Why is it that men CONTINUALLY chase after women they KNOW GOOD AND WELL they can't have!  Example (and I have many but I'll share one today!):  Facebook...  I am IM'ed EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN' DAY by these "friends" who I NEVER respond to, and they never seem to get the picture that I'll NEVER give them the time of day!  And I'm very blunt with them about it, too.  For instance, there's this guy who says "hello" to me, seems like, every time my name shows up on his chat.  It's as if he nervously awaits that green light to shine next to Kerri Margaret, so he can verbally molest me daily.   :-/ 


Now, for months, I never responded.  Well, on the occasional "I feel sorry for this poor idiot" day I'll sputter the obligatory "hi," but for the most part, I leave him hanging.  But one day, I felt the need to be real with the young chap and put him out of his misery.  I was brutally blunt and confessed that the reason that I never chat with him is because of his Gawd Awful profile pik and that his entire being freaks me out in general. 


Why oh why did I do that?  I swear it gave the fool more ammo!  I'm wondering, was my callous statement, to him, a proverbial "come hither?"  Because my response sparked a barage of messages from him:  "Why do you say that?"  "What's wrong with my profile pik?"  "Why don't you ever talk to me?"  Bla, bla, bla, aaagghhhh!  For a moment there, I felt like I'd morphed into Laura Winslow (upgraded 2010 version, of course!).  As I read on, my brow furrowed deeper into confusion as I tried to make sense of how downright insult to the poor fellow can result in amusement (arousal, even!)   But then, I dug deep down into the recesses of my brain, (you know, the practically useless part that women rarely use but men rely on)...  And  took a minute to try and think like a male would think (DO they even think?)...  Alas, the conclusion was simple:  MEN LOVE THE CHASE no matter what the costs (war wounds) that come with it! 


It's funny, b/c sooo many of my girlfriends cry and whine about not having a man, can't keep a man, yadda, yadda, yadda...  But I wonder if I've found out the secret that men have been knowing and excercising for years:  Treating men like the dogs that (MOST OF THEM) are will keep them coming back for more!  It's simple!  "It's elementary, my dears!" 


I mean, look at all the women who stay with men who treat them like dirt.  I'm sure every last person reading this right now can instantly think of that auntie, cousin, BFF, "little brother's baby mama" who is in the exact same predicament.  He talks to her crazy, occasionally "jumps stupid," and downright disses the poor child on a daily, and magically, she's back in his arms, night after drama-filled night. 


Now, in no way am I endorsing disrespect, violence, and plain old tomfoolery, but I can't help but to state the obvious.  It's almost uncanny, but thanks to Facebook, I have unlocked the secret to what makes a man tick and his heart melt and it's all about being a plain old, big fat "meany!"  :)   


Come to I think of it, I wish I'd collected stats on the countless guys who I have come across on FB who have told me that I was mean.  But FTR, these same "accusers" keep coming back for more!  I didn't know what it was at first...  Maybe they like the attention, but the more I say things like, "Not interested," "Don't hold your breath," or "You're one type-o away from becoming defriended," the more they keep the lame pick-up attempts coming.  Maybe all guys, deep down inside, are searching for that verbal dominatrix...  The one who will bring them to their knees with that quick witted tongue!  Haha.  Even I had to laugh at that one. 


But seriously, I'm not making this stuff up, I just write it, and I can assure you that there are facts to back up the madness.  And if you don't believe me, try it out.  What can it hurt (besides their big fat egos?) 


I guess that in a way, I'm just venting about the guys who keep interrupting my daily Facebooking with their constant mindless IMing, but there seems to be a lesson in it all.  And here it is:  For all you single sistas searching, call off the search party and pump up the attitude.  It seems to work at keeping 'em interested.  Just make sure you get the hang of turning it on and off.  There's much that can be said about doing things in moderation. 


It's something like Sour Patch Kids candies.  At first they're sour, then they're sweet.  And we love them either way.  We've gotta harness that "best of both worlds" spirit.  No one wants to be with someone whose always the same, boring... vanilla.  Add some of that cayenne pepper! 


And that is all...  And this is your daily Kerrapy!  :)